Mobiles VS Consoles

So people, I’m back now. Not sure for how long but I think I’ll get back into posting stuff on the internets. Like a proper geek. So anyways, what better way to start things off than a post about technology?

We have come a long way now with mobile phones getting smarter and smarter. I wouldn’t be surprised if it were to overtake the likes of computers very soon. The next line up from qualcom the people behind the snapdragons are already shipping out dual core snapdragons that are 5 times faster than the current technology at 75% power consumption footprint of current technology? And how does that affect you? Well for gamers and just plain geeks the following comparison is apt

-image courtesy of gsmarena

We are at the point where HD 1080p porn is conveniently placed in our *cough* pockets. I mean entertaining hours of games at our fingertips.

Food for thought.

7 Tell-Tale Signs You are A Bad Boy… geek

Yes, about the web lingo update. I think it has to be for another time when I feel less inspired with collosally amazing ideas. Was doing some maths, and then went to wash up, and it came to me. Like someone or SOMETHING WANTED me to write about this. The secrets of some anicent force which has given me no option, an ultimatum to impart to you, my non existential readers these hidden bits of knowledge that men all over the globe and than some have gone stark raving mad in their quest to discover IT. Yes. This is a COMPREHENSIVE. THE COMPREHENSIVE ULTIMATE SUPER DUPER QUADRUPLE TRIPLE X MEGA guide to telling whether you are a Bad Boy Geek. What is a Bad Boy Geek pray tell? You have much to learn young grasshopper, and for being non-existential you have even more to learn. But yes, I the Azngeek, will impart to you this knowledge. (I know i’m god damn repetitive and redundant. Shut up and read you moron and stop questioning. You are after all non-existential)

Lets start with the basics. The definitions.

Geek : A term similar to nerd, but slightly less pejorative in tone.

Bad : Having undesirable qualities, OR intense!!!111oneoneoneoneeleven!

Boy :”Boy (I Need You)” was the second single from Mariah Carey’s 12th album, Charmbracelet.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_(I_Need_You)

Oh crap. That’s not quite right is it. Meh. Just read on. So yes. Essentially, a Bad Boy Geek, is a Geek who is a bad boy, IE a Geek who is INTENSE (HOW THE FUCK CAN A GEEK HAVE UNDESIRABLE QUALITIES. EVERYONE LOVES GEEKS. CHICKS LOVE GEEKS. PARENTS LOVE GEEKS. TEACHERS LOVE GEEKS. EMPLOYERS LOVE GEEKS – THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY A GEEK CAN HAVE EVEN THE REMOTEST UNDESIRABLE QUALITY FUCK YEA!) Ok. Where was I. Oh yes, Bad Boy Gee -> Intense Geek. So the 7 Tell-Tale Signs You are a Bad Boy Geek are as follow.

1. First and foremost. You have done some gaming of the few great games. IE warcraft, starcraft, counterstrike, half life, age of empires, red alert. One or more would qualify you for this criteria. AND if you have what I like calling THE-RAGE. It’s likely you are a bad boy geek. An example of THE-RAGE : While playing counter strike, you get shot in the head, as soon as you see someone, you bang your keyboard and scream constant profanities. Bang your head on the keyboard. Scream more profanities %^$*&%&*(* and then some more profanities. Then when it happens again you are soooooooo fucked up, you stab someone. Actually you don’t. You just repeat everythign before the stabbing. I just thought stabbing would be cool. By the way, this is one of the most INTENSE characterisitcs of the Bad Boy Geek. The women find it desirable, extremely desirable. I would know. That’s why i’ve had like 12474281596796721057102973408725 friends who are female (whispers* times zero : D)
2. Secondly, you have the UNCANNY abilitiy (like wolverine, but better) to be able to sit at the computer for at 5 hours or more, and have your sweaty palms tightly gripping that mouse on that black sexy sleek mousepad of yours which are designed for “gamers” which helps you perform 10.956% better at the previously mentioned games. Actually you just need to be able to sit at the computer for 5 hours or more. That’s pretty much it. Meh. But yea. I thought I should be a little more descriptive an illustrate to you a prime example of THE BAD BOY GEEK which soooooooooo isn’t me. I’m just a geek, not yet a bad boy geek.
3. Thirdly, you have glasses which always slide down your nose, revealing your sinisterly INTENSE eyes full of passion for the debates of technological marvel. Such as the debate of which is better ball vs optical vs laser mouses. OR OR whhhyyyyyy the greens are better than the blues hyuck hyuck. Fuck. I mean amds are better than intel or vice versa. I probably lost most of my readers back there, but meh. Basically ANY person who argues about something like that, are likely to be a BAD BOY GEEK
4. Fourth, you have your own web page where you type at your keyboard. The pitiful bastards. FUCK YOU GUYS AHHAH. NO LIFE WHATSO- urm… damn… forget I said that… I mean you guys are so cool
5. Fifth, you always mention school work, or work in general because you are so passionate about it, or you are an anal retentive mother fucker that is just well… an anal rententive mother fucker. Enough said.
6. Sixth, you understand the difference between working with higher resolution screens compared to lower ones. You are an advocate of high resolution screens for maximum productivity and seriously see the undeniable benefit behind the benefits of high resolution screens.
7. Seven, repeat number one to six.
8. I’m so cool. You need to worhship me. You are not worthy non-existential readers (I just realized you could be a girl to be a Bad Boy Geek. Go figure. I’m a sexist.Shut.up.)

If you score 4 and above out of 8 you are A BAD BOY GEEK!

And yea. Heh. I actually had more than 7 on my list. Woops. And yes. I just read through my list, and urm. Yeah. I’m not a Bad Boy Geek. Or maybe I am. You lie! All lies. Gahhhh. Fuck you. Fuck you too. *punches self* hah take that. That actually hurt bitch! *punches self back* That’s right. Fuck you. Fuck you too. DIE DIE DIE. DIE DOT COM MOTHER FUCKE- Oh. Heh. I’m still at this write post page. I didn’t realize. Urm. I soooo don’t have an alternate personality. Azngeek. *clicks publish*

EDIT : Might I add that in NOOOOO way whatsoever am i referring to myself. Really. Really. Orly?Yarly.

God Help Me

Wow. Nice things keep happening to me. Lost my phone. Yeap. Lost it. I knew this week was bad but wtf am i right? Argh. I am so high, I can hear heaven. So high… on grief and pain. Now I’m stuck with a Samsung. Damn you Samsung phone. Damn your small screen and tiny keys. Damn your cute appearance and your annoying beeps. Damn your ultra limited memory and most of all, damn ME for losing something so DAMN BIG in the first place (Thats Actually The Worst Part About This Whole Crappy Situation). Its excusable to lose the most tiniest, thinnest, lightest, almost invisibleish phone. But not one that looks like it could swallow your head. Too bad eh. Congrats to the lucky bastard who stole it. You Lucky Bastard. I hope s/hes the kind of person with some kind of brain defect. One look at the pr0n in the phone and itll trigger a major stroke. Wish you hadnt stolen my pr0n ridden phone now eh?(the pr0ns not my doing btw. pervy hands of pervy people with pr0n ridden phones can do amazing things. Thanks Bluetooth!) My Samsungs clean. So it just doesnt feel the same….

• OMG PSYCH THAT WAS AN AWESOME RANT!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
• OMG I WANNA BE WITH YOU SO BAD!!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
• OMG YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!!!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
• I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!! I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!
• OMG PSYCH LETS GO TO HOLLAND AND GET MARRIED!!!!
• lets… not.

On to the good stuff. The cool convo above was included solely for the purpose of making my post take up most of the page. If it still doesn’t then I could just delete everyone else’s posts right? No? Ok.

I was on the train minding my own business when I spotted an empty seat. Took it without thinking twice. Was trying to get away from a weird Indian guy who was feeling me with his eyes (for lack of a better phrase. Seriously I think thats what girls complain about when they tell you that there’s a guy staring at them. I almost felt his probing eyes undress me slowly. Exaggeration? Probably. Didnt confront him cos it coulve been all in my mind. =) But we all know the truth right?) Ahem. Anyway I was just sitting there, looking forlorn(I think) when a voice beside me said, “You’re Jon right?”. Lo and ZOMGG- Malay Girl Who Looks Kinda Familiar Looking Right At Me. Managed to get to know that she was my Standard 2/3/4 something classmate. God everything came back in that second. She seemed cool about meeting in the train. We exchanged pleasantries. But through all that, there was one thing in my mind… Her stealing my pen. The memory of her stealing it, denying it, making excuses, calling me a liar, me calling her a thief, her crying… all etched in my mind like some kind of movie. A movie that kept repeating itself as I talked to her about college, where she went after Standard 6. The usual crap. My blood was boiling by the time we were done talking. Very childish right? Well if you thought that youre absolutely right. Unresolved issues can be a butch. It might not even be that. I might just have a weird grudge holding complex. First time so far as I can tell. But those unresolved issues from your past might just come back and haunt you sometime soon. Well it probably wont but it might. Instead of a pen. It could be something important. Like your dignity? Think about it.

Power to the Masses,

Death to all Teddy-Bears.

Have A Kickass Weekend.

pSyCh

Prime-fucking minister

Guess what non-existential readers. That’s right. The prime-fucking minister came to my school today. Click on the link. She’s the one on the right. That’s right. Helen-Clarkey-dackey-doo. She came because I’m so god damn important and needed my help on some important decisions in determining the future of New Zealand and really couldn’t wait later, as she is an incompetent bitch who needs my fucking help. No really. Really. Fine. Couldn’t fool you people. You aren’t as moronic as I thought. *points finger and laughs at the person behind the screen* YOU FELL FOR IT! Out of all seriousness though, she DID come to my school. For you people who don’t know Helen Clark the socialist !@#$%^&*. Please shoot yourself now and bleed to a slow and painful and horribly gruesome death. She’s the prime minister of New Zealand you imbeciles. *sigh* Just when I thought you non-existential readers were gaining some myriad of intelligence. You fooled me readers! Time to quote Georgey-Porgey Bush in one of his speeches while addressing the war in Iraq. “Fooled me once, shame on you. Fooled me twice. Errrr… *shrug*” Click on the link, if you are so god damn moronic you don’t know the biggest idiot of the millenium Georgey-Porgey Bush. I’m beginning to sense some hostility here. Might just be me. Mmm. Yea. So where was I. Oh yes. He-Ren Crack. (He – refers to well he, eg, he is a fucking moron. Ren, for you chinese, means person, though I highly doubt whether Helen Clark is actually human. I believe she’s from pssst, *whispers* Area 51. Another one of Georgey-Porgey’s elaborate yet idiotic plan. Releasing an extra terrestrial to lead a country, only to have the extra-terrestrial backstab the Bush!)

Hmmm. So yes. I’m still yet to understand what I just typed out, but I felt like a rant, after doing 3-DDDDDDDD Vec…vect….tors. Woooo. Fuck. Meh. Yes. Anyways. That’s me. That’s my rant. That’s azngeek for you. Another rant later on in the week, when I have more time.

On a side note, I noticed a friend who referred to himself as being in trouble. And well, he used one of the inter-web lingo(s) -> depending on my mood, how much I educate you <- that I very much think I should educate my fine-dumbass-non-existential readers before I leave. It’ll be my obligation and my good deed for this lifetime. When you are in trouble say:
“Yo. Dude. Really man. die.dot.com.” -> 100 COOL POINTS KACHING! die.dot.com. You see. Makes you sound cool. Like that fucking geek, with his blooooooooe thud headset, and and and, hissssss pink polo teeeeee shirt. (NOTE: for morons, die.dot.com, refers to being in trouble. Therefore the allusion to dieing, and the inter-web allusions just makes you REALLY cool. Chicks dig it. I would know. Chicks dig me)
I really should write out a full article on this internet lingo business. The next time I will. (As you can see, non-coherent, on the fly rants ) – Azngeek

Of Prozac and Pot..

Hiyaz u doods n doodhettes oot dhere. (Yea you the ones who aren’t real. I’m actually starting to wonder if there actually are people reading this blog. The comments posted here seem to be realistic enough. If they aren’t, Im probably gonna need some Prozac or something. yea. go prozac… im gonna go cut my wrists now. wheres my prozac?

Ahem. Erm, This is just a quickie for me to waste some time on. Don’t worry though, its worth the read. So don’t skip anything you lazy motherf awesome reader.

Well, I mentioned the Prozac already. So do i need to go furthur with that? Ok. Let’s learn about Prozac.

Allright kids… this medicine right… Its for really rreeaaallly sad people (awwwwwww) WhoWantToKillThemselves AndOthersAlongWithThem IfTheyGetTheChance. Hmm.. maybe suicide bombers are people who just missed their dose or something.. or is the so called “prozac” thats being prescribed to them actually sand, dirt, and some water ground up and made into pills in a shack somewhere in Kazakhstan? Neways, its good for you if you feel down and dirty depressed. That was a rant btw. Just FYI.

On to the POT. Ahh. Learnt from a Dutch boy(think Dutch Lady but instead of a woman with those things its a Boy). Nah. Ima justa kidding for funa. Hes actually pretty cool. Anyways about the goings on of Pot in Good Ol Holland/N’lands. As we all know(yes even you should know this you nonexistensialishperson) that marijuana is pretty legal there. Learnt from him that Its Not Really Legal for the following reasons.

• YOU CANT SMOKE IT IN PUBLIC!(at home is fine)
• YOU CANT BUY IT LEGALLY IF YOU WANT MORE THAN 5 GRAMS (But owning it is fine as long as you dont intend to sell)
• COFFEESHOPS ARE POTSPOTS!(Yea its a well known fact. Coffeeshops in Amsterdam are places you can legally but a little pot.)

Learnt all this during lunch. Delish. I actually know (firsthand) an ex(maybe) pot smoker!
Oh btw. Check out a new series on USA(those who dont have it should know what to do. Well if you don’t I’ll just tell you. Go IMDB it. then go GET IT. If you don’t know how to I wonder how you survived this long in the **torrent** age without having some kind of clue..) Its called “psych”. OMG COINCIDENCE?? Maybe. Its very Very Very Cool. Like MONK but different in its own unique way. Heres to hoping it doesnt get cancelled before its second season. I know you lazy people(who dont exist) too well. Ill make it easier for you guys.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0491738/

there. Brace yourselves guys, its gonna be a long long week.

pSyCh

Football Fever

Heh check this link out http://www.spimps.co.nz/videos/italian-training-camp/. Courtesy of sneakerpimps. On a side note, I’ve been approached by a few non-existential readers on the articles/rants posted on azngeek. I’d like to point out that currently there are 3 active posters, or not so active posters, but meh. First and foremost there is me, the azngeek, then there is psych and ph. If you check the categories, azngeek, psych and ph have their/our own categories respectively. I thought I’d just point that out. And yea that’s pretty much it. Azngeek.

Starbarks

STARBARKS

The truth behind the overpriced coffee giant, “Starbarks” by the author of ” The Guide on How to Earn Easy Money by Manipulating the Minds of Weak, Innocent, Docile Consumers”

1. Change the terms used to describe the quantity of coffee paid by consumers from small to tall, medium to grande and large to venti and you’ve got people oogling all over your coffee house wanting to taste some of that ___(insert size term here) coffee of yours. This somewhat gives the consumer the thought of them being sophisticated and well respected just because they bought a fucking cup of iced coffee in a plastic cup bearing the “Starbarks” logo, being a breed of marketing people, working for free, making “Starbarks” richer and richer, day after day. The worst part is that the consumers pay “Starbarks” and market their product. It should be the other way around. But what the fuck has happened to the consumers? They walk around with the “Starbarks” logo on their coffee cups as if it’s a status symbol. That’s bullshit.
2. Invest on the interior of your coffee house. People enjoy the quiet and somewhat attractive mood of the newly renovated coffee house. It further instills a sense of sophistication in the consumer. Observing habits of people who are actually rich, these people like it to be quiet and they listen to slow music, but that’s what the majority (of rich, old people) do. So, those who have saved a whole weeks allowance just for a cup of “Starbarks” coffee would also want to feel the feeling of being rich (This is actually based on the mid-range consumers). ”Starbarks” is overrated.
3. Make your coffee name as long as possible. Throw in the whipped cream if the consumers pay. With the whipped cream, the coffee name will be extended as well!!! [Insert coffee name here] with whipped cream. You just added 3 syllables to the coffee name. Isn’t that a joy? When A asks B about the coffee that B is drinking, B goes,” [Long coffee name here] with whipped cream ” I bet A feels like delivering a finishing blow to B. B could have said coffee. But B had to go specific mode. It’s all right to be specific. But, telling someone everything that the coffee is made of? Talk about going one step further.
4. The last and final step of making quick bucks is to overprice your coffee. People think that they’re paying for quality when something is expensive. Although that isn’t entirely through. Take Nike for example. The consumers are fucking paying the people who were paid to be in the Nike advertisements. How sad could the society be? They should be aware of the abuse. But what the fuck eh, I’m also into Nike products. :P Talk about being a hypocrite. Going back to the topic… Overpricing will make the consumers feel special. That is the sales gimmick that made “Starbarks” what it is today.

Disclaimer: This “Starbarks” story has nothing to do with the next story. If anyone was offended by this post, please, you’re non-existential. How can you be offended? You are perfect and have nothing bad to say about my post except to compliment it and make me feel really good about myself even if I am practicing what Anne Rice could have done with the band member of The Rolling Stones.

WARNING: Chances are, you, non-existential readers, are going to be confused by the numerous alphabets used to represent a certain somebody.

All is well as he enters the college cafeteria. A, is on a test of courage. A had met up with DHK(female, korean, cheeky, 1990) B to discuss the strategy. The strategy to talk to E, whom A likes. The day before, B had asked E about E’s ex, G, whom B and the other koreans had descriptively told A about G being a tall, handsome, hot (pronounced hard, with a ‘t’ sound at the end by a certain D), german guy. B claimed to have asked E about E’s opinion about A and E ending up together (or something like that). E’s answer was,”I dunno.”

A was somewhat overjoyed at the sound of that. But what if? What if A screws up? Let’s take a look at the non-existential fact sheet.

Fact #1 A is (in a way) a relationship virgin.

Fact #2 A is shy.

Fact #3 A lacks self confidence.

That was Wednesday. On Thursday, A grew some balls and talked to E in the cafeteria for about an hour. Yep, that’s right. Roughly an hour though. A finally got E’s number and in a time frame of 3 days, A managed to exchange 30 messages with E. But A has a weird gut feeling about it, as some of the messages weren’t very convincing. Plus, E is in her third semester. A doesn’t want to be a weight in E’s studies. What should A do? That is a question that only A can answer. But what should A answer?

A went through a lot for E. Well, in A’s case, i suppose. It wasn’t really benificial for E though. A actually spent another MYR10 on credit just to message E. A finished that amount in one day and had to beg for another MYR8 (A is on a budget). A got MYR5 from B, MYR1 from C,D and F respectively. C is B’s close friend. D is A’s classmate. F however is an old friend that A knew from tuition in Secondary 3. At this point, one would wonder whether or not A is desperate. Maybe A is selfish.

A is facing a dilemma so great, A doesn’t know what to do. From the way the sms-es A got from E sounded, it was ok at times but it seemed to friend-friend-ish. What does A really want? Is all hope lost for A?

There’s much less substance in this post compared to the first post as -pH- was rushing to kinda finish it.

-pH-

Yo,yo WHIPERSNAPPER?!?

Seriously non-existent readers. What is the world coming to. I went for a run, which has become a daily habbit fir a while now. So yes. What is the worst that can happen to an Asian going for a run in a country where the majority is the white man? Racist comments? “FUCK OFF FROM OUR COUNTRY YOU DAMN ASIANS!” That kinda thing? Bastards beeping their disgusting horns to try to get you to feel all jumpy? Oh. I’ve experienced something far worse, but at the same time it captivated me. It was somehow, enthralling in its divinely beautiful horror. At the last kilometre of my run, the floor suddenly began to vibrate under my feet with the immense power of … SUB WOOFERS. WHAT THE FUCK!? Yes. Sub woofers. So what you may ask? Mmm my reply is shut the hell up, and listen non-existential readers. Gahhh you interrupted my flow… hmm so where was I?… Ah yes the sub woofers. I turned my head slowly to make sure the beast was not suspicious of anyone watching and what I was to see, was dastardly evil, disturbingly shocking, disgustingly gruesome. I’m not talking about those riced up cars that us Asians currently have a high affinity for, with BMW stickers on stupid cheapo Jap cars, furry fuzzy fucked up toys sticking out from every corner of the car, and a dumb ass driver who speaks too loud over the phone and can’t drive to save their own life. This was worse. It was a black family sedan which was covered in a blanket of dust and had rust creeping up from the sides eating away at the body of what looked like a 1000 year old car. I believe it was a Holden. But that wasn’t what was shocking. The music that was being played? Not high pitched non sensical screechy asian music, but Queens – Another One Bites the Dust, and in the black sedan sat a man who must have been his mid fucking fourties. FUCK.  SUPER MID LIFE CRISIS!!!!1111oneoneoneeleven He had a receding hair line, and all the classic signs of ageing were potrayed by the delectable specimen of mid-aged-loser-white-thrash-male. Now, I’ve seen too much in this lifetime. Goodbye cruel world! (Got you worried their didn’t I… sigh… gullibility among non-existential readers… mmmm shocking in its own right)

No, but out of all seriousness as is I already find it impossibly hard enough to understand why young mother fuckers rice up their cars and make it all fucking impractical with dumb ass useless subwoofer systems in their cheap shit cars, with body kit mods for spoilers that thingy at the bottom, whatever you call it,… mmmm the FUCK I know this word…. Brain-not-functioning. I know it ain’t a bumper kit… Mmmmm … you  know those thingies you shove like around the bumper and all around your car, the lower area… I know lots of dumb asses doing it with their jap cars. Even fucking huge armies of them do it in Malaysia. Meh. The foolishness of youth. Actually the stupidity of the majority of the fucking youth! Mmmm… yea, so I definitely can’t understand why an elderly man would allow himself to commit an act of absolute self degrading. I don’t get it. Truly. Could it be he wants to be accepted by the younger community as being just as idiotically stupid? At least I can laugh at those self proclaimed gangster people who still stay with their parents and have absolutely zero intelligence whatsoever. But this? He didn’t look gangster in terms of clothing, no bling and shit, but his car, and attitude looked riced up enough to pass him off as one. Shit he was grabbing the wheel with one had, bobbing his head to the beat with his lips curled in a defiant-gangsterish way.But come to think of it, he probably still does stay with his parents, unless they are dead or something, and probably does have zero intellgence… but the receeding hairline… and shit definitely took out the humor from that fucker… damn… I guess I should end my rant here. Azngeek

d’accord?

Hey there nobodys. Second time doing this (not really) and I’m gonna bore you with something really wholesome today. Everyone knows about the Isr@el vs Leb@non +P@lestine or better known as US+Israel vs. [The+Whole+@rab+World - Jord@n - Egypt]. Ppl might google this site up and get pissed at things I say. Hell, they wont, but just to make sure ive changed the names to protect my privacy. Dont want evil terrorist people flaming this site =) After all there are billions of sites with the key words isr@el, ar@b, p@lestine, war, jew, muslim, intif@da, zionism, kill jews, evil jews, f**k jews, f**k israel etc. =) I dont have time for idiot replies (unless you actually make a point or ask questions). Watched a rerun of Larry King and boy does that weirdo have all the connections. He had a rep from Hezboll@h, from Isr@el(who did a damn good job imo), Amanpour(I Kinda Love Her), Anderson(Gotta Give Him Props For Looking So Damn Good At 40-mygodimgayforandersonforsomereason), Albright(the old, white ex-Condoleezza for people who dont know her) and a few other guys. PS- If youre really not interested in anything political then just skip parts you deem unfit for your virgin eyes.

I wish terrorism would stop. Atm that implies Islamic Extremists(cos theyre really popular now). I really do. After all its not impossible for Asia to become the next top terrorist target. Think about it, compared to Western countries, the security here is lax(even countries like Jap, HK and Singapore-those places are tight but not THAT tight). Whats more if you take a region like SEA where bribery is commonplace and visas are easily obtainable, its almost a 100% chance of success. All it takes is a terrorist to figure that out. Why would they target us? Because they can. If theyre willing to blow themselves up in the first place you cant really expect them to think logically 24/7. I mean look at Bali. Why would they bomb Bali? Killing tourists doesnt make any kind of statement. They even killed a number of Muslims while they were at it but they dont really give a damn. Brain could go on but my fingers won’t.

Aaaanyway, Larry did his usual thing. Mini interviews all around. It stopped at the Hez guy who seemed pretty much in awe that Israel would even consider attacking them over the alternative. After all they just wanted “PEACEFUL NEGOTIATIONS”. Imo, If someone wanted peaceful negotiations then they shouldnt have tresspassed on enemy territory, kidnapped their soldiers and sent rockets into Israels towns. After all, the world wouldnt be more on Israels side if it simply invaded southern Lebanon without provocation. If what the guy said ->”Israel has an alternative plan for Lebanon and is not concerned with the kidnapped soldiers” is true, why the hell would you give it reason to get into your territories in the first place. Thats Dumb. Stupid. Stupid. God. Those words were almost right from his mouth btw, at least that was his point. I’m not saying Israel is totally blameless. Killing civilians is Not Cool. France is being a bitch. A reasonable bitch. After all it is a former occupant of Lebanon so it has interests there. What it said is pretty reasonable. Israel is overreacting. Lets see them just sit passively by if their soldiers get kidnapped and their towns are being bombed. Well, Israel IS overreacting. Pretty much all the casualties are Lebanese civs. That sucks. Bad.

Anyway its pretty much the same old story told again with some names changed. We know the probable outcome. Israel wins, US claims small victory in War Against Terrorism, Bush messes up his victory speech, Bush talks about pigs(hilarious stuff. Watch Jon Stewart), Bush grins, Bush cant get down from podium, Bush looks confused, Bush gets help, Bush does silly wave, Bush slyly winks at Condoleezza. They both undress, get into the tub, gently carressing, get the black maid to join. make an oreo….. skip a few seconds….. fondle, fondle, a sigh, another sigh. some frustration. Some yelling”Whats WRong With IT?”, some frustration. some consoling. Bush is alone again. Bush is sad. Weird rant #2 comes to an end. Hope you had fun. Just remember not to wiki info about the war cos we all know how reliable wiki is with controversial subjects =). Go to GoogleNews for reliable info. Btw the rant above was pretty one-sided. Accurate I believe but one-sided. If you feel like stating anything do so. This subject is related to an assignment of mine so any mistakes you point out could very well increase my marks. btw, almost everything except the third paragraph was written in jest. so dont ride me on that. rants a rant. nothing more. this post might *crosses fingers and other things* increase the # of unique visitors here.

Until nxt time.

pSyCh

Best selling authors are stupid

So yes, I was nerding up some 3 dimensional vectors, and as I finished the last question, I saw a sign. There was a book neatly placed on the chair beside me. Blood and Gold: The Vampire Marius, by Anne Rice which so happens to be not a bad book. I would know. I read it before you moronic non-existential readers. For people who don’t exist, your intelligence levels are shocking. You imaginary people should be PERFECT. Why else would I want non-existing readers if you people weren’t perfect. It’s hard to get good help these days. Bleh. So as I was saying, a best selling author’s book next to me, after finishing up on vectors. It has to be a sign for something greater. I could almost see that imaginary light sneaking through the blinds to highlight the utter importance of this book which was to play a pivotal role in my life. Yes, an authentic-ass-kicking-aspiring-azngeek post. Shutupmylifedoesn’tsuck. So I’ll take it that you non-existential readers know about Anne Rice, because you people are perfect. So yes, what do all best selling authors have in common. J.K Rowling, Tolkien, Patricia Cornwell, Stephen King, etc. Mmm. Open to the first,second, or last page, or even the cover of the book. They all have the aproval seal of certain people/organizations/bodies/companies etc. Still don’t understand me? Let me illustrate some examples for you people.

“Refreshing” -New York Times
“You wouldn’t want to miss this breathtaking adventure” – Washington Post
“A fresh new perspective of vampires/ghosts/the adventure genre” – Some famous dude
“Fans of — bestselling —- series will rush out to buy this new one — intentive fare.” – Mail On Sunday
and one last one for good measure “A journey of the soul explored” – Some gay bastard *twitch* (I bet someone explores something else when he drops a bar of soap in public showers)

Still don’t see the stupidity behind best selling authors? *slaps forhead* Shit non-existential readers. You guys suck urm you guys suck poo poo! Don’t you see the elaborate agreement they have made with these so-called influential/famous bodies/people/organizations etc. They advertise for each other, after they have achieved some sort of tangibility as an acclaimed writer. Don’t believe me? Mmmm.

Let me quote something at the back of the book I have right beside me right this instant.
“Rice’s most passionate and inventive work since Interview with the Vampire, Memnoch has a half maddened fever-pitch intenisty and tells a tale as old as Scripture’s legends and as modern as todays’ religous warefare.’ Mikal Gilmore, ROLLING STONES“

You see. ROLLING STONES emboldened don’t you. First off which imbecilic bafoon would fall for that. Singers don’t read. Rock singers don’t read. They rock. They sing. They don’t read you asshole. But when some dumb ass in his mid 40s who grew up listening to the likes of Rolling Stones, The Beatles, The Beegees, The Cardigans etc. they’d probably light up like a little child on christmas eves when the child has his finger plugged in into a 400000 volt live unearthed power source. And then he’ll buy the damn book to read it just because the ROLLING STONES said something good about it. Heck, even for us people who don’t really have a high affinity for the Rolling stones, when we see that, we get that subliminal urge to listen to the Rolling Stones. You don’t? Shut up. You are stupid.

I’m guessing you still don’t see the stupidity behind best-selling authors. No? You do? What is it then. That’s right bitch, shut up, sit down, and listen. Best-selling authors actually have to achieve a certain standard first before becoming a best-selling author no? Well here’s where they are stupid. All they have to bloody do is just call up the Rolling Stones, call up the New York Times, the Washington Post, etc. offer them a comission, get them to claim it as a best-seller then all majority of the consumers who are stupid as fuck will buy the fucking book! And to further their wealth and fortunes, instead of quoting other people, they should be quoting themselves! Don’t bloody believe me? Ee gad, non-existential readers. Do I have to think of every damn thing?

You remember this?
“Rice’s most passionate and inventive work since Interview with the Vampire, Memnoch has a half maddened fever-pitch intenisty and tells a tale as old as Scripture’s legends and as modern as todays’ religous warefare.’ Mikal Gilmore, ROLLING STONES“

what if it were like this instead?
“Rice’s most passionate and inventive work since Interview with the Vampire, Memnoch has a half maddened fever-pitch intenisty and tells a tale as old as Scripture’s legends and as modern as todays’ religous warefare.’ Anne-fucking-Rice“

You see. NOT ONLY WILL THE AUTHOR GAIN BEST SELLING STATUS. The author will be doing advertistment for him/herself as well. You see, when I read that I go, hmmm MUST FIND OUT MORE ABOUT ANNE RICE. SHE SOUNDS SO COOOOOOLLLLLLL. That’s right morons. I’m right. You are wrong. 100% absolute authority in the arena of intelligence. I’m a gladiator of absolute supreme intelligence. Not only that. The new best selling author can go even further by cutting out all the people of their commissions. Not only do you become fan-fucking-tastically-famous-for-free (almost for free) with almost zero effort, you become rich as well. Fuck. I just came up with the most ingenious get rich scheme ever. Hah! That proves I’m Asian! Fuck yea! I guess that’s my rant for today people. 

On a totally unrelated matter. The next time some wise ass mother fucker tells you you can only do something when pigs can fly, I have a quick and easy reply for you to use.
“Ok, I find pig now and shove rocket up piggy wiggy bum-bum. Then piggy fry!/fly” – Azngeek-

DISCLAIMER : I do not accept any responsibility for any idiocy that it is to be committed by any non-existential readers of mine from reading my non-sensical-non-coherent rant.