7 Tell-Tale Signs You are A Bad Boy… geek

Yes, about the web lingo update. I think it has to be for another time when I feel less inspired with collosally amazing ideas. Was doing some maths, and then went to wash up, and it came to me. Like someone or SOMETHING WANTED me to write about this. The secrets of some anicent force which has given me no option, an ultimatum to impart to you, my non existential readers these hidden bits of knowledge that men all over the globe and than some have gone stark raving mad in their quest to discover IT. Yes. This is a COMPREHENSIVE. THE COMPREHENSIVE ULTIMATE SUPER DUPER QUADRUPLE TRIPLE X MEGA guide to telling whether you are a Bad Boy Geek. What is a Bad Boy Geek pray tell? You have much to learn young grasshopper, and for being non-existential you have even more to learn. But yes, I the Azngeek, will impart to you this knowledge. (I know i’m god damn repetitive and redundant. Shut up and read you moron and stop questioning. You are after all non-existential)

Lets start with the basics. The definitions.

Geek : A term similar to nerd, but slightly less pejorative in tone.

Bad : Having undesirable qualities, OR intense!!!111oneoneoneoneeleven!

Boy :”Boy (I Need You)” was the second single from Mariah Carey’s 12th album, Charmbracelet.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_(I_Need_You)

Oh crap. That’s not quite right is it. Meh. Just read on. So yes. Essentially, a Bad Boy Geek, is a Geek who is a bad boy, IE a Geek who is INTENSE (HOW THE FUCK CAN A GEEK HAVE UNDESIRABLE QUALITIES. EVERYONE LOVES GEEKS. CHICKS LOVE GEEKS. PARENTS LOVE GEEKS. TEACHERS LOVE GEEKS. EMPLOYERS LOVE GEEKS – THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY A GEEK CAN HAVE EVEN THE REMOTEST UNDESIRABLE QUALITY FUCK YEA!) Ok. Where was I. Oh yes, Bad Boy Gee -> Intense Geek. So the 7 Tell-Tale Signs You are a Bad Boy Geek are as follow.

1. First and foremost. You have done some gaming of the few great games. IE warcraft, starcraft, counterstrike, half life, age of empires, red alert. One or more would qualify you for this criteria. AND if you have what I like calling THE-RAGE. It’s likely you are a bad boy geek. An example of THE-RAGE : While playing counter strike, you get shot in the head, as soon as you see someone, you bang your keyboard and scream constant profanities. Bang your head on the keyboard. Scream more profanities %^$*&%&*(* and then some more profanities. Then when it happens again you are soooooooo fucked up, you stab someone. Actually you don’t. You just repeat everythign before the stabbing. I just thought stabbing would be cool. By the way, this is one of the most INTENSE characterisitcs of the Bad Boy Geek. The women find it desirable, extremely desirable. I would know. That’s why i’ve had like 12474281596796721057102973408725 friends who are female (whispers* times zero : D)
2. Secondly, you have the UNCANNY abilitiy (like wolverine, but better) to be able to sit at the computer for at 5 hours or more, and have your sweaty palms tightly gripping that mouse on that black sexy sleek mousepad of yours which are designed for “gamers” which helps you perform 10.956% better at the previously mentioned games. Actually you just need to be able to sit at the computer for 5 hours or more. That’s pretty much it. Meh. But yea. I thought I should be a little more descriptive an illustrate to you a prime example of THE BAD BOY GEEK which soooooooooo isn’t me. I’m just a geek, not yet a bad boy geek.
3. Thirdly, you have glasses which always slide down your nose, revealing your sinisterly INTENSE eyes full of passion for the debates of technological marvel. Such as the debate of which is better ball vs optical vs laser mouses. OR OR whhhyyyyyy the greens are better than the blues hyuck hyuck. Fuck. I mean amds are better than intel or vice versa. I probably lost most of my readers back there, but meh. Basically ANY person who argues about something like that, are likely to be a BAD BOY GEEK
4. Fourth, you have your own web page where you type at your keyboard. The pitiful bastards. FUCK YOU GUYS AHHAH. NO LIFE WHATSO- urm… damn… forget I said that… I mean you guys are so cool
5. Fifth, you always mention school work, or work in general because you are so passionate about it, or you are an anal retentive mother fucker that is just well… an anal rententive mother fucker. Enough said.
6. Sixth, you understand the difference between working with higher resolution screens compared to lower ones. You are an advocate of high resolution screens for maximum productivity and seriously see the undeniable benefit behind the benefits of high resolution screens.
7. Seven, repeat number one to six.
8. I’m so cool. You need to worhship me. You are not worthy non-existential readers (I just realized you could be a girl to be a Bad Boy Geek. Go figure. I’m a sexist.Shut.up.)

If you score 4 and above out of 8 you are A BAD BOY GEEK!

And yea. Heh. I actually had more than 7 on my list. Woops. And yes. I just read through my list, and urm. Yeah. I’m not a Bad Boy Geek. Or maybe I am. You lie! All lies. Gahhhh. Fuck you. Fuck you too. *punches self* hah take that. That actually hurt bitch! *punches self back* That’s right. Fuck you. Fuck you too. DIE DIE DIE. DIE DOT COM MOTHER FUCKE- Oh. Heh. I’m still at this write post page. I didn’t realize. Urm. I soooo don’t have an alternate personality. Azngeek. *clicks publish*

EDIT : Might I add that in NOOOOO way whatsoever am i referring to myself. Really. Really. Orly?Yarly.

God Help Me

Wow. Nice things keep happening to me. Lost my phone. Yeap. Lost it. I knew this week was bad but wtf am i right? Argh. I am so high, I can hear heaven. So high… on grief and pain. Now I’m stuck with a Samsung. Damn you Samsung phone. Damn your small screen and tiny keys. Damn your cute appearance and your annoying beeps. Damn your ultra limited memory and most of all, damn ME for losing something so DAMN BIG in the first place (Thats Actually The Worst Part About This Whole Crappy Situation). Its excusable to lose the most tiniest, thinnest, lightest, almost invisibleish phone. But not one that looks like it could swallow your head. Too bad eh. Congrats to the lucky bastard who stole it. You Lucky Bastard. I hope s/hes the kind of person with some kind of brain defect. One look at the pr0n in the phone and itll trigger a major stroke. Wish you hadnt stolen my pr0n ridden phone now eh?(the pr0ns not my doing btw. pervy hands of pervy people with pr0n ridden phones can do amazing things. Thanks Bluetooth!) My Samsungs clean. So it just doesnt feel the same….

• OMG PSYCH THAT WAS AN AWESOME RANT!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
• OMG I WANNA BE WITH YOU SO BAD!!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
• OMG YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!!!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
• I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!! I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!
• OMG PSYCH LETS GO TO HOLLAND AND GET MARRIED!!!!
• lets… not.

On to the good stuff. The cool convo above was included solely for the purpose of making my post take up most of the page. If it still doesn’t then I could just delete everyone else’s posts right? No? Ok.

I was on the train minding my own business when I spotted an empty seat. Took it without thinking twice. Was trying to get away from a weird Indian guy who was feeling me with his eyes (for lack of a better phrase. Seriously I think thats what girls complain about when they tell you that there’s a guy staring at them. I almost felt his probing eyes undress me slowly. Exaggeration? Probably. Didnt confront him cos it coulve been all in my mind. =) But we all know the truth right?) Ahem. Anyway I was just sitting there, looking forlorn(I think) when a voice beside me said, “You’re Jon right?”. Lo and ZOMGG- Malay Girl Who Looks Kinda Familiar Looking Right At Me. Managed to get to know that she was my Standard 2/3/4 something classmate. God everything came back in that second. She seemed cool about meeting in the train. We exchanged pleasantries. But through all that, there was one thing in my mind… Her stealing my pen. The memory of her stealing it, denying it, making excuses, calling me a liar, me calling her a thief, her crying… all etched in my mind like some kind of movie. A movie that kept repeating itself as I talked to her about college, where she went after Standard 6. The usual crap. My blood was boiling by the time we were done talking. Very childish right? Well if you thought that youre absolutely right. Unresolved issues can be a butch. It might not even be that. I might just have a weird grudge holding complex. First time so far as I can tell. But those unresolved issues from your past might just come back and haunt you sometime soon. Well it probably wont but it might. Instead of a pen. It could be something important. Like your dignity? Think about it.

Power to the Masses,

Death to all Teddy-Bears.

Have A Kickass Weekend.

pSyCh

Starbarks

STARBARKS

The truth behind the overpriced coffee giant, “Starbarks” by the author of ” The Guide on How to Earn Easy Money by Manipulating the Minds of Weak, Innocent, Docile Consumers”

1. Change the terms used to describe the quantity of coffee paid by consumers from small to tall, medium to grande and large to venti and you’ve got people oogling all over your coffee house wanting to taste some of that ___(insert size term here) coffee of yours. This somewhat gives the consumer the thought of them being sophisticated and well respected just because they bought a fucking cup of iced coffee in a plastic cup bearing the “Starbarks” logo, being a breed of marketing people, working for free, making “Starbarks” richer and richer, day after day. The worst part is that the consumers pay “Starbarks” and market their product. It should be the other way around. But what the fuck has happened to the consumers? They walk around with the “Starbarks” logo on their coffee cups as if it’s a status symbol. That’s bullshit.
2. Invest on the interior of your coffee house. People enjoy the quiet and somewhat attractive mood of the newly renovated coffee house. It further instills a sense of sophistication in the consumer. Observing habits of people who are actually rich, these people like it to be quiet and they listen to slow music, but that’s what the majority (of rich, old people) do. So, those who have saved a whole weeks allowance just for a cup of “Starbarks” coffee would also want to feel the feeling of being rich (This is actually based on the mid-range consumers). ”Starbarks” is overrated.
3. Make your coffee name as long as possible. Throw in the whipped cream if the consumers pay. With the whipped cream, the coffee name will be extended as well!!! [Insert coffee name here] with whipped cream. You just added 3 syllables to the coffee name. Isn’t that a joy? When A asks B about the coffee that B is drinking, B goes,” [Long coffee name here] with whipped cream ” I bet A feels like delivering a finishing blow to B. B could have said coffee. But B had to go specific mode. It’s all right to be specific. But, telling someone everything that the coffee is made of? Talk about going one step further.
4. The last and final step of making quick bucks is to overprice your coffee. People think that they’re paying for quality when something is expensive. Although that isn’t entirely through. Take Nike for example. The consumers are fucking paying the people who were paid to be in the Nike advertisements. How sad could the society be? They should be aware of the abuse. But what the fuck eh, I’m also into Nike products. :P Talk about being a hypocrite. Going back to the topic… Overpricing will make the consumers feel special. That is the sales gimmick that made “Starbarks” what it is today.

Disclaimer: This “Starbarks” story has nothing to do with the next story. If anyone was offended by this post, please, you’re non-existential. How can you be offended? You are perfect and have nothing bad to say about my post except to compliment it and make me feel really good about myself even if I am practicing what Anne Rice could have done with the band member of The Rolling Stones.

WARNING: Chances are, you, non-existential readers, are going to be confused by the numerous alphabets used to represent a certain somebody.

All is well as he enters the college cafeteria. A, is on a test of courage. A had met up with DHK(female, korean, cheeky, 1990) B to discuss the strategy. The strategy to talk to E, whom A likes. The day before, B had asked E about E’s ex, G, whom B and the other koreans had descriptively told A about G being a tall, handsome, hot (pronounced hard, with a ‘t’ sound at the end by a certain D), german guy. B claimed to have asked E about E’s opinion about A and E ending up together (or something like that). E’s answer was,”I dunno.”

A was somewhat overjoyed at the sound of that. But what if? What if A screws up? Let’s take a look at the non-existential fact sheet.

Fact #1 A is (in a way) a relationship virgin.

Fact #2 A is shy.

Fact #3 A lacks self confidence.

That was Wednesday. On Thursday, A grew some balls and talked to E in the cafeteria for about an hour. Yep, that’s right. Roughly an hour though. A finally got E’s number and in a time frame of 3 days, A managed to exchange 30 messages with E. But A has a weird gut feeling about it, as some of the messages weren’t very convincing. Plus, E is in her third semester. A doesn’t want to be a weight in E’s studies. What should A do? That is a question that only A can answer. But what should A answer?

A went through a lot for E. Well, in A’s case, i suppose. It wasn’t really benificial for E though. A actually spent another MYR10 on credit just to message E. A finished that amount in one day and had to beg for another MYR8 (A is on a budget). A got MYR5 from B, MYR1 from C,D and F respectively. C is B’s close friend. D is A’s classmate. F however is an old friend that A knew from tuition in Secondary 3. At this point, one would wonder whether or not A is desperate. Maybe A is selfish.

A is facing a dilemma so great, A doesn’t know what to do. From the way the sms-es A got from E sounded, it was ok at times but it seemed to friend-friend-ish. What does A really want? Is all hope lost for A?

There’s much less substance in this post compared to the first post as -pH- was rushing to kinda finish it.

-pH-

d’accord?

Hey there nobodys. Second time doing this (not really) and I’m gonna bore you with something really wholesome today. Everyone knows about the Isr@el vs Leb@non +P@lestine or better known as US+Israel vs. [The+Whole+@rab+World - Jord@n - Egypt]. Ppl might google this site up and get pissed at things I say. Hell, they wont, but just to make sure ive changed the names to protect my privacy. Dont want evil terrorist people flaming this site =) After all there are billions of sites with the key words isr@el, ar@b, p@lestine, war, jew, muslim, intif@da, zionism, kill jews, evil jews, f**k jews, f**k israel etc. =) I dont have time for idiot replies (unless you actually make a point or ask questions). Watched a rerun of Larry King and boy does that weirdo have all the connections. He had a rep from Hezboll@h, from Isr@el(who did a damn good job imo), Amanpour(I Kinda Love Her), Anderson(Gotta Give Him Props For Looking So Damn Good At 40-mygodimgayforandersonforsomereason), Albright(the old, white ex-Condoleezza for people who dont know her) and a few other guys. PS- If youre really not interested in anything political then just skip parts you deem unfit for your virgin eyes.

I wish terrorism would stop. Atm that implies Islamic Extremists(cos theyre really popular now). I really do. After all its not impossible for Asia to become the next top terrorist target. Think about it, compared to Western countries, the security here is lax(even countries like Jap, HK and Singapore-those places are tight but not THAT tight). Whats more if you take a region like SEA where bribery is commonplace and visas are easily obtainable, its almost a 100% chance of success. All it takes is a terrorist to figure that out. Why would they target us? Because they can. If theyre willing to blow themselves up in the first place you cant really expect them to think logically 24/7. I mean look at Bali. Why would they bomb Bali? Killing tourists doesnt make any kind of statement. They even killed a number of Muslims while they were at it but they dont really give a damn. Brain could go on but my fingers won’t.

Aaaanyway, Larry did his usual thing. Mini interviews all around. It stopped at the Hez guy who seemed pretty much in awe that Israel would even consider attacking them over the alternative. After all they just wanted “PEACEFUL NEGOTIATIONS”. Imo, If someone wanted peaceful negotiations then they shouldnt have tresspassed on enemy territory, kidnapped their soldiers and sent rockets into Israels towns. After all, the world wouldnt be more on Israels side if it simply invaded southern Lebanon without provocation. If what the guy said ->”Israel has an alternative plan for Lebanon and is not concerned with the kidnapped soldiers” is true, why the hell would you give it reason to get into your territories in the first place. Thats Dumb. Stupid. Stupid. God. Those words were almost right from his mouth btw, at least that was his point. I’m not saying Israel is totally blameless. Killing civilians is Not Cool. France is being a bitch. A reasonable bitch. After all it is a former occupant of Lebanon so it has interests there. What it said is pretty reasonable. Israel is overreacting. Lets see them just sit passively by if their soldiers get kidnapped and their towns are being bombed. Well, Israel IS overreacting. Pretty much all the casualties are Lebanese civs. That sucks. Bad.

Anyway its pretty much the same old story told again with some names changed. We know the probable outcome. Israel wins, US claims small victory in War Against Terrorism, Bush messes up his victory speech, Bush talks about pigs(hilarious stuff. Watch Jon Stewart), Bush grins, Bush cant get down from podium, Bush looks confused, Bush gets help, Bush does silly wave, Bush slyly winks at Condoleezza. They both undress, get into the tub, gently carressing, get the black maid to join. make an oreo….. skip a few seconds….. fondle, fondle, a sigh, another sigh. some frustration. Some yelling”Whats WRong With IT?”, some frustration. some consoling. Bush is alone again. Bush is sad. Weird rant #2 comes to an end. Hope you had fun. Just remember not to wiki info about the war cos we all know how reliable wiki is with controversial subjects =). Go to GoogleNews for reliable info. Btw the rant above was pretty one-sided. Accurate I believe but one-sided. If you feel like stating anything do so. This subject is related to an assignment of mine so any mistakes you point out could very well increase my marks. btw, almost everything except the third paragraph was written in jest. so dont ride me on that. rants a rant. nothing more. this post might *crosses fingers and other things* increase the # of unique visitors here.

Until nxt time.

pSyCh

Best selling authors are stupid

So yes, I was nerding up some 3 dimensional vectors, and as I finished the last question, I saw a sign. There was a book neatly placed on the chair beside me. Blood and Gold: The Vampire Marius, by Anne Rice which so happens to be not a bad book. I would know. I read it before you moronic non-existential readers. For people who don’t exist, your intelligence levels are shocking. You imaginary people should be PERFECT. Why else would I want non-existing readers if you people weren’t perfect. It’s hard to get good help these days. Bleh. So as I was saying, a best selling author’s book next to me, after finishing up on vectors. It has to be a sign for something greater. I could almost see that imaginary light sneaking through the blinds to highlight the utter importance of this book which was to play a pivotal role in my life. Yes, an authentic-ass-kicking-aspiring-azngeek post. Shutupmylifedoesn’tsuck. So I’ll take it that you non-existential readers know about Anne Rice, because you people are perfect. So yes, what do all best selling authors have in common. J.K Rowling, Tolkien, Patricia Cornwell, Stephen King, etc. Mmm. Open to the first,second, or last page, or even the cover of the book. They all have the aproval seal of certain people/organizations/bodies/companies etc. Still don’t understand me? Let me illustrate some examples for you people.

“Refreshing” -New York Times
“You wouldn’t want to miss this breathtaking adventure” – Washington Post
“A fresh new perspective of vampires/ghosts/the adventure genre” – Some famous dude
“Fans of — bestselling —- series will rush out to buy this new one — intentive fare.” – Mail On Sunday
and one last one for good measure “A journey of the soul explored” – Some gay bastard *twitch* (I bet someone explores something else when he drops a bar of soap in public showers)

Still don’t see the stupidity behind best selling authors? *slaps forhead* Shit non-existential readers. You guys suck urm you guys suck poo poo! Don’t you see the elaborate agreement they have made with these so-called influential/famous bodies/people/organizations etc. They advertise for each other, after they have achieved some sort of tangibility as an acclaimed writer. Don’t believe me? Mmmm.

Let me quote something at the back of the book I have right beside me right this instant.
“Rice’s most passionate and inventive work since Interview with the Vampire, Memnoch has a half maddened fever-pitch intenisty and tells a tale as old as Scripture’s legends and as modern as todays’ religous warefare.’ Mikal Gilmore, ROLLING STONES“

You see. ROLLING STONES emboldened don’t you. First off which imbecilic bafoon would fall for that. Singers don’t read. Rock singers don’t read. They rock. They sing. They don’t read you asshole. But when some dumb ass in his mid 40s who grew up listening to the likes of Rolling Stones, The Beatles, The Beegees, The Cardigans etc. they’d probably light up like a little child on christmas eves when the child has his finger plugged in into a 400000 volt live unearthed power source. And then he’ll buy the damn book to read it just because the ROLLING STONES said something good about it. Heck, even for us people who don’t really have a high affinity for the Rolling stones, when we see that, we get that subliminal urge to listen to the Rolling Stones. You don’t? Shut up. You are stupid.

I’m guessing you still don’t see the stupidity behind best-selling authors. No? You do? What is it then. That’s right bitch, shut up, sit down, and listen. Best-selling authors actually have to achieve a certain standard first before becoming a best-selling author no? Well here’s where they are stupid. All they have to bloody do is just call up the Rolling Stones, call up the New York Times, the Washington Post, etc. offer them a comission, get them to claim it as a best-seller then all majority of the consumers who are stupid as fuck will buy the fucking book! And to further their wealth and fortunes, instead of quoting other people, they should be quoting themselves! Don’t bloody believe me? Ee gad, non-existential readers. Do I have to think of every damn thing?

You remember this?
“Rice’s most passionate and inventive work since Interview with the Vampire, Memnoch has a half maddened fever-pitch intenisty and tells a tale as old as Scripture’s legends and as modern as todays’ religous warefare.’ Mikal Gilmore, ROLLING STONES“

what if it were like this instead?
“Rice’s most passionate and inventive work since Interview with the Vampire, Memnoch has a half maddened fever-pitch intenisty and tells a tale as old as Scripture’s legends and as modern as todays’ religous warefare.’ Anne-fucking-Rice“

You see. NOT ONLY WILL THE AUTHOR GAIN BEST SELLING STATUS. The author will be doing advertistment for him/herself as well. You see, when I read that I go, hmmm MUST FIND OUT MORE ABOUT ANNE RICE. SHE SOUNDS SO COOOOOOLLLLLLL. That’s right morons. I’m right. You are wrong. 100% absolute authority in the arena of intelligence. I’m a gladiator of absolute supreme intelligence. Not only that. The new best selling author can go even further by cutting out all the people of their commissions. Not only do you become fan-fucking-tastically-famous-for-free (almost for free) with almost zero effort, you become rich as well. Fuck. I just came up with the most ingenious get rich scheme ever. Hah! That proves I’m Asian! Fuck yea! I guess that’s my rant for today people. 

On a totally unrelated matter. The next time some wise ass mother fucker tells you you can only do something when pigs can fly, I have a quick and easy reply for you to use.
“Ok, I find pig now and shove rocket up piggy wiggy bum-bum. Then piggy fry!/fly” – Azngeek-

DISCLAIMER : I do not accept any responsibility for any idiocy that it is to be committed by any non-existential readers of mine from reading my non-sensical-non-coherent rant.

Ways to seem smart when you are an absolute dumb ass

I think organic chemistry is my inspiration to come up with non-sensical posts….. fuck….. I’m done with chemistry for the week by the way people, pat me on the back, give me a banana, and call me a monkey’s uncle. Really. Pat me on the back, give me a banana, and call me a monkey’s uncle. So yes, I was thinking, you know how sometimes you meet some people, and as soon as they open their freagin mouths, they just seem so god damn intelligible? They make you feel all inferior, and that you need to hold on to something so bad? Fret no more non-existential readers. I’ll teach you THE SECRET behind sounding really REALLY smart with the following steps at a low low fee of 99 monthly instalment payments of 1 dollar. Or not. You could just read it for free you cheapskates, which ever suits your fancy. So to the batcave!

Step 1:
To completely brush of other people’s opinions and views to show that you are an intellectual giant that’ll crush them like the fucking tiny bugs that they are
eg. That’s nonsense, that’s rubbish, that’s nonsensical, that makes zero sense what so ever

Step 2:
Step 1 was the inititiation step in crushing their confidence, and for good measure you should repeat it for emphasis, but with a different choice of words. (For you Asians you have a huge advantage if you memorize the dictionary. Go memorize the dictionary now. I SAID NOW) You know what they say, kick a man while they are down! Note to seem even more intelligible use bombastic words, exercise this loop hole in the Engrish language.
eg. That is SUPERFLUOS in every way, Such laughable EXPOSTULATION, There is no FOUNDATION in your argument, (and something you could use against gamers) Yeah sure whatever, newbie

Step 3:
Continue to break down the other person’s confidence in a question form while repeating what they said to give yourself a chance to think of your own opinions because you think too damn slow. That’s why you are actually using this guide you moron.
eg. Do you sincerely think that “repeat what the other person said”, And why are you talking about “repeat what the other person said”, How can you honestly believe that “repeat what the other person said”

Step 4:
Finally delivering the killer blow in securing your intellectual upper hand over the other person. Express your opinions, with facts, they don’t have to be real. But numbers give your argument substance. If possible use any technical terms that the other may not understand, but approach with caution. When the other person’s face looks all bamboozled and just confused, you know that you have established you are intelligably leaps and bounds superior.

Here’s an illustration of the four-fan-fucking-tastic steps in making yourself seem smarter, instantly, I know I don’t use it :

A: I feel that the war in Iraq should never have happened. Bush is such an idiot doing it solely for oil.
(Note person B has no idea on what the war in Iraq is about whatsoever, neither does person A , but bringing up an international issue is always a way to establish the possesion of some myriad of intelligence. A overheard someones conversation and thought he could exercise the monkey see monkey do tactic)
B : That’s absolute nonsense. (3 seconds silence) Such laughable expostulation was surely only mentioned to compensate your lack of thought with the number of sophistical examples. You are wrong. You are a confused individual in your blind zeal. Your assumptions are absurd.
(See B exercsied step 1 and step 2, multiple times and he already has the upper hand in terms of intelligence. A must be feeling pretty small right now and must wish he didn’t bring up something in which he had no knowlege in)
B: Do you sincerely think that the war on Iraq shouldn’t have happened? Do you honestly feel that Bush only is in their for the oil  (I know this is very debatable). Did you know that 63.45% of the parliament agreed on Bush’s decision on the vote on supply? (usage of numbers/facts untrue as they may be. Vote on supply -> a technical term whatever that means.) In your blind ZEAL you came to a proposterous conclusion.

See, B seems heaps smart! Fuck. He actually seems like a pompous-mother-fucking-jerk. But at least a smart pompous-mother-fucking-jerk. This would make you soooo god damn popular. Use these 4 magical steps, and watch your life improve. NOTE: These steps have not be proven to work, use at own risk. Personally though the Azngeek thinks it makes you sound like an absolute bastard who should be shot in the foot multiple times, stabbed in the arms, have toothpicks shoved under your nails and be run over with a car, then a truck, and be brought to the hospital only to have the entire nation be on a power crisis with all generators malfunctioning. But that’s what I think. What do I know.

Are you feeling lucky, bub?

FUCKING HELL RAGE DIE EXPLODE IMPLODE KILL TINY FURRY LITTLE ANIMALS FUCKKKKKKKKKK… WORD-FUCKING-PRESS DIDN’T SAVE MY LAST POST WHICH TOOK ME 5 FUCKING MINUTES TO TYPE OUT…GAHHHHHh URGH.. WILL TRY TO RETYPE IT… NOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOO mmmm echoeyyyyyyy

Sooooo as I was saying, at 1 am, had one fucking intimate hour with a girl named chemistry… heheheh touched her all over, carressed her pages— damn,….. she wasn’t a girl was she…. noooo… she lieddd!!! Gahhh. When she told me about benzene rings, and activating benzene rings with eletron donating electrophiles, when she told me about mechanisms and aarows pointing the right way, was it all but a lie? FUCK YOU CHEMISTRY! How could you. I TRUSTED YOU *WHIMPER* I thought you loved me… Intimate moments like that get me. Does it get you? HAHAHAH

So yes, at 2 am, started talking to some friends, over the inter-web, and I thought of something no one could ever conceivably think of. Their own comic book character!!! WOAH AZNGEEK I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES *screams a non-existential fan girl who loves the Azngeek* Soooooo to have a comic book character I’d need a plot, a trademark phrase, etc. right? So I brainstormed for a micro second, and thought of one. Supercalifragilisticexbeeolliedocious MAN… shit, didn’t  mean to be all sexist and all, arghhh stop prodding me with that dirty disgusting stick…. FINE. Supercalifragilisticexbeeolliedocious Thing.. it’s not sexist day today… I know.. Sunday is a day of rest…. so yes…. Supercalifragilisticexbeeolliedocious Thing…

How was he, she… IT? YES IT. HOW WAS IT BORN TO THE WORLD… As a child, IT watched many many, actually countless hours X 10 of Marry Poppin(I have subliminal messages for adults to kill themselves Poppins, one and the same) with his parents… but one day… at the tender age of 45… his parents took their own lives… for those countless hours of Marry Damning Poppins had drove them to the edge of a cliff (marry poppins actually murdered them?) I mean, brink of insanity… So they took the easy way out and killed themselves… (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the bankruptcy, or their dog being run over, TWICE, OR their house burning down. It was ALL mary poppin’s fault… they killed them the bitch!) Leaving poor poor urm… Jack!( HAH! Got you, it can be a girl OR a BOY. WHAHHA i’m not sexist. Jack is urm UNISEX…. shutupnow) So from then on Jack vowed to fight all that was unjust and became Supercalifragilisticexbeeolliedocious Thing!!!111Thing!!!111… It was an upright-grandmother-helping-cat-stuck-in-a-tree-saving kinda superhero, who wore tights that were so tight, he was blue from the lack of oxygen reaching his head. The best superhero conceivably possible. SO that’s the plot. The birth of Supercalifragilisticexbeeolliedocious Thing. *pow* *bam* *whoosh* *kapow* *crack* *klang*! To the bat cav- I mean fag cav-.. damn.. I mean Supercalifragilisticexbeeolliedocious closet!

So yes, now he needs a trademark phrase… Mmmm wolverine has “Are you feeling lucky bub?” The thing, ” It’s clobbering time” and Gokou “kamehameha your ass” (not so sure about the ass part…) sooo Supercalifragilisticexbeeolliedocious must have one as well. So after 0.0000001 seconds of thought… I figured, seeing how I’m so damn creative… I’d come up with the best trademark catch phrase conceivable to man which would have little boys who play barbie dolls reconsider their idiocy… SO HERE WE GOOOO READY? ONE-TWO-… TREE! “Supercalifragilisticexbeeolliedocious, villains!” FUCK YEA!!! OMG! *more screams of fan girls asking to have the azngeek’s babies*… man the creative juices are flowing tonihgt/this morning aren’t they? HAHAHA…..

Now moving towards the arch-nemesis…T-O B-E C-O-N-T-I-N-U-E-D

I BET YOU WEREN’T EXPECTING THAT AHHAHA MORONS! Well like any good comic book character, they need to head towards the silver screen, have a sequel and all that jazz. So I figured why not start from young. From the drawing board… ahhah there you go. Supercalifragilisticexbeeolliedocious already has a To Be FREAGIN CONTINUED! WOOOT!

Azngeek

His first time…

It’s his first time. Take it slow. Help him. Help him place it where it feels good. Help him…. 

Damn, psych is all grown up. NO longer a blog virgin, though I think he’s not been a blog virgin for a pretty fucking long time. Secretly blogging behind my back, that slut. Haha, props to him though, really appreciate the effort. So to thank him, I think I’ll be more stereotypical than ever non existential readers. I’ll write about the asian (maybe it could be me) who couldn’t say three-tree

There was a boy, named treenitree (pronounced as trinity) haha fagot! He must have gotten soooo much shit from his friend– shit off topic. Yes so treenitree, got a lot of shit because he was:
1. Asian
2. He couldn’t pronounce his L’s. Really? Hah! More like Rearry! Hello? Nah-uh. More like Haro! But worst of all. It was the number 3. How would you pronounce that? TREEE! Holy heap of hippy hoe hacking horse crap! HAHAHAH. TREEEEEEEEEEEE…. mmmm
Moral of the story… there is none!  Can you non-existent readers see how much prejudice we Asians recieve daily? Hell I’m Asian. Fuck. We are all prejudiced. The world would be a better place without all these prejudices, but definitely not as funny! *rant rant rant*

To further this rant, I’ll help all you non-existent readers in the romance part of your life with a few pickup lines:

• Will you let me integrate your life, and will you let me let you differentiate mine?
• Every couple, has its moments.
• Will you be the square to my root?
• If the root of 64 is 8, will you go out with me?
• 1+1=2, but me+you= uncertainty, a whole life of uncertainty which I’ll be prepared to face if it was me+you
• Let me geek you up the right way
• Shall we backup,format, then format again, rowr?

Geeky…. hah, the azngeek. ( I came up with some of those, can’t remember which though) Don’t you love it non-existential readers when we get so intimate *puke*

A Z N Moms have got it going on

Move over Stacey, bring on the Azn Moms, they’ve got it going on they are all I want, I’ve– urm… I urm… mmm yea. Right. ANYWAYS, Azn moms, a tribute to them in this very post. Azn moms. Has a nice ring to it doesn’t it? So yes, a tribute to Azn moms out there, because mom is Azn morons!

So what about asian moms huh? They are alwayyyyys there for us in their veryyyyyy vewyyyy velllyyyyy azn ways. Here’s a list why we Azns love our Azn moms
WARNING STEREOTYPING TO THE EXTREME!!!111oneoneoneeleven Most scenarios wouldn’t even be true in most azn households, it might just be a very toned down version of course

1. They think of the most ruthless punishments. None of the white people pussy shit, like time outs and going to your room. They take out the cane baby, ooo yea, time out my ass. More like knock out. “No daddy, not the belt Noooooooo….” Another way they like leading to punishments is by asking “How do you want me to punish you? What do you think you deserve?” And when you tell them they pretty much just shut you down with “Stop being such a pussy” or something along those lines, with the same meaning, they play with your heads.
2. They push us to be our best, sometimes going overboard but their intentions, are noble (debatable at times but run with me people) It’s like when an Asian gets a B on a standardized test.. (more on asians and standardized tests in the future) they use guilt tactics to ensure they max the asian kid out. “I sacrificed so much for you ungreatful SOB and all you give me is 100%? GIVE ME FUCKING 1100000% bitch or face the consequences!” ” We come to this foreign land, and the best you can give me is an A? I want an A+ fucker!” Guilt tactics and fear tactics.
3. Well ahha it’s how most Azn mothers say TREEEEE!!! HAHHAHAHAHHAHHA TH-REE = TREE… holy cow… ahahhahaha priceless… and all the other azn antics like being overly loud…… damn

NOTE : this was all for good fun ;) ahha sorry if it offended any of you non-existent readers, but if it did, shut up pansie, go cry yourself to sleep now. The Azngeek. A side note, this really is a tribute to Azn mothers, and non Azn mothers even for just being, well mothers *awwwwwww love me people*

S-L-U-T

Judgemental post on the way non-existent readers. Very judgemental… went out to a burger joint for lunch yesterday, if you must know burger fuel at Parnell, possibly THE best mid range burgers known to man kind, burgers ranging around the 8-12 dollar range. AND PLUS it’s not the cheap-nasty-plastic-stuff you get from other fast food joints like, McDeath, Killed-Fucked-Colon, etc. Off topic again. Mmmmm so yes where does the SLUT come in? Woah there, move your hands away from that thing! Geez! I don’t need no number threes here non-existent male readers. So yes as I was saying, I ordered a bitch, no no no, the burger was called “bitchin” to be precise, *licks chops* tasty chicken, generous serving of lettu- fuck, off topic again. Sooooooooooo as I was eating  my burger, this group of three… extremely…. —- white boys come in, with matching jeans worn low down, dawning on IDENTICAL black puffy kathmandu jackets, who were all ugly mother fuckers who thought they were cool because they had pimp(actually not so pimp jackets)… moving along now, yea yea, those morons ruined my appetite, so I thought they deserved some mentioning… soooooooooo then comes a group of three… sheep!?WTF.. I mean three white girls, all who were fairly attractive young women. Nothing wrong here yet right? Yea nothing wrong, except I assume the alpha girl, who was wearing a green tee shirt, and white track bottoms. THOSE WHITE TRACK BOTTOMS WERE TRANSPARENT HOLY COW! I MEAN BLOODY LITERALLY TRANSPARENT SHIT WTF… PUBLIC PLACE BITCH!!!!111oneoneoneeleven…. sure she was hot and all…. but think about all the little children! DAYMN! Little kids walk along Parnell too holding on to their parents hands for guidance, to only have their innocence DEFILED by the blasphemo-… meh what am I talking about. They are girls. I’m a guy. They are hot girls. I’m a guy. They are hot girls with the leader girl having a transparent track bottom, and DARE I sAY IT, dawned a Gee-FUCKING-string!!!(Pffbt… she’ll probably end up shagging K-fed or something look what happened to Britney!) Shiet….. Ok fine, it’s still disgusting… >.< man… white people pffffbt, at least us asians have honor, and humility. THEY BRING SHAME TO THEIR ANCESTORS! Ok rant ends here. Because you know what they say “You can’t spell slaughter, without l-a-u-g-h-t-e-r”… that wasn’t the slightest bit coherent, was it? Signing off, Azngeek